Happy Hump Day Butt Lover Jiayang!
Today, our TED talk is about butts and why they 100% ease stress and anxiety.
Say you just lost half your savings and you just found out you've been fired. Sucks right? But when you get home, you see this waiting for you on your counter:
Yes, suddenly all your worries and fears are pushed to the back of your mind. Suddenly your purpose is clear and all you can do is appreciate that soft, squeezable, slappable and face-buriable booty infront of you. You get close and she lets you just melt between her cheeks. Endorphins fire like it were some kind of drug and there is a tingly feeling enveloping your head and neck stem, essentially insulating it from the other parts of your mind.
For a moment, everything disappears and you can't think about ANYTHING else except how soft, warm and comforting THAT butt feels on YOUR face.
Look, we're not scientists but we understand that butts are magic. Not only do they create peace and happiness out of thin air, they also are the catalyst to long lasting relationships, love and quite possibly enlightenment. If everyone would stop their push and shove and struggle to uphold trivial societal standards and follow the way of the butt, the world would be a much simpler, safer and loving place.
Thanks for listening and if you agree with us, take home our pillow and we promise, it'll have at least 69% of the magic of butts.
We as Team Buttress is on a mission to create awareness to butts, their joy and their wisdom to make the world a much more Bootyful place.
Butts for all,
Team Buttress